Strengths and Gifts
We hear a lot these days about strengths based organizations and everyone using their strengths at work. I call these your gifts. Marcus Buckingham wrote a really energizing book about this called Go Use Your Strengths at Work. In this book he talks about how to understand and use the strengths you have rather than trying to be all things to all people. He even cautions people to forget about their so-called weaknesses and to focus only on their strengths. I agree. Now this doesn’t mean that you ignore things you are not good at or don’t like to do that would have major consequences – I don’t think putting gas in my car is one of my strengths but if I don’t do it then I’m going to run out of gas and get stranded somewhere, so I do it. But in the big things I try to do only those things that use my best and most significant strengths – what I call my gifts.
When I talk about calling and strengths and gifts, I am not talking just about work related callings. Many callings have nothing to do with what you do for a living. A calling is something you feel compelled to do whether you get paid for it or not. Sometimes your calling and your work are the same or intertwined in some way, but many times they are not.
By the way, you can be good at something and it not be your exact calling. I have a friend who is good at moving. She can organize a move, get all the boxes packed, labeled and stacked neatly in room categories and then she can unpack them and get her new place all organized, pictures hung and kitchen set up all in less than a week’s time. She is an excellent mover, but is this her calling to be a professional mover? No, because it does not call her from deep within – she just likes to have things go smoothly when she moves and she likes to have her home livable and settled once she gets to the new place. She isn’t even a particularly organized person once she gets settled in – she says she is a piler and not a filer. But maybe there is a connection between this talent, this skill and her life’s work – her calling, but I'll get to that in a minute.
But first let's look at what a strength, a gift really is and then we will get to whether there is a connection between some of your strengths/gifts and your calling? According to the theory on gifts and strengths it is something you do well, usually something you love to do. It has what Mihály Csíkszentmihályi calls flow. He wrote a book of the same name and says in it:
When I talk about calling and strengths and gifts, I am not talking just about work related callings. Many callings have nothing to do with what you do for a living. A calling is something you feel compelled to do whether you get paid for it or not. Sometimes your calling and your work are the same or intertwined in some way, but many times they are not.
By the way, you can be good at something and it not be your exact calling. I have a friend who is good at moving. She can organize a move, get all the boxes packed, labeled and stacked neatly in room categories and then she can unpack them and get her new place all organized, pictures hung and kitchen set up all in less than a week’s time. She is an excellent mover, but is this her calling to be a professional mover? No, because it does not call her from deep within – she just likes to have things go smoothly when she moves and she likes to have her home livable and settled once she gets to the new place. She isn’t even a particularly organized person once she gets settled in – she says she is a piler and not a filer. But maybe there is a connection between this talent, this skill and her life’s work – her calling, but I'll get to that in a minute.
But first let's look at what a strength, a gift really is and then we will get to whether there is a connection between some of your strengths/gifts and your calling? According to the theory on gifts and strengths it is something you do well, usually something you love to do. It has what Mihály Csíkszentmihályi calls flow. He wrote a book of the same name and says in it:
“Flow is the mental state of operation in which the person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing, characterized by a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity. When you are doing it, the time just flies and when you are finished you feel a sense of satisfaction and gratification.”
You will do it again without nagging either from yourself or from someone else. It’s the thing in your job you do best and first or the thing you do in your off work time that no one has to remind you to do.
With my friend the good mover she loves to have a beautiful home and that’s her motivation, her gift. Her home is always a place of beauty, her office as well. So her real gift is making a place of beauty to live and work in, a place where the soul can come out and express itself. Is this her calling? Well, it’s part of it. I would say for this woman beauty and creating beauty in many forms is her calling.
What about you? What are your gifts, your strengths? What do you love to do and no one has to pester you to do it? You do it on your own and love every minute of it? And I mean love it, not just pass the time doing it or to go numb doing it. Some people may watch a lot of TV or read romance novels or mysteries to entertain themselves or pass the time. Or they may play a sport or clip coupons or any number of things, but do they love the activity and lose themselves in the joy of it or are they simply zoning out or getting some fresh air? Now don’t get me wrong, I think it’s fine to zone out at times – we all need time to just sit and be entertained or to get out and exercise our muscles. I make no fuss with that. No one can be focused on their calling or anything else 24/7. We all need breaks and what you could call turn around time.
With my friend the good mover she loves to have a beautiful home and that’s her motivation, her gift. Her home is always a place of beauty, her office as well. So her real gift is making a place of beauty to live and work in, a place where the soul can come out and express itself. Is this her calling? Well, it’s part of it. I would say for this woman beauty and creating beauty in many forms is her calling.
What about you? What are your gifts, your strengths? What do you love to do and no one has to pester you to do it? You do it on your own and love every minute of it? And I mean love it, not just pass the time doing it or to go numb doing it. Some people may watch a lot of TV or read romance novels or mysteries to entertain themselves or pass the time. Or they may play a sport or clip coupons or any number of things, but do they love the activity and lose themselves in the joy of it or are they simply zoning out or getting some fresh air? Now don’t get me wrong, I think it’s fine to zone out at times – we all need time to just sit and be entertained or to get out and exercise our muscles. I make no fuss with that. No one can be focused on their calling or anything else 24/7. We all need breaks and what you could call turn around time.
Connections Between the Connections
But when you want to awaken to your calling one place to look is to your gifts and strengths –the things you love to do and are good at, the things you lose yourself in. Another thing to look for is the connection between the connection. What I mean by this is maybe what you love to do is not exactly a calling but something related to it, that is, connected to it, like the woman who is a good mover. Her real calling is making beautiful environments and places conducive to her soul’s expression and her work is one of giving back to the world what she has been given – she is a writer and teacher.
Giving Back What We've Been Given
Another thing I want to make clear here is that I believe a soul’s call has an element of giving back to it. It is not simply for our own entertainment or fun. That to me is not a soul’s call, that’s just self-indulgent hedonism and we all deserve a bit of that but it is not a calling. What I’m talking about here is what James Hillman calls “giving back what you’ve been given”.
If you’ve been given the gift of physical strength and endurance and you use this to hike the Colorado mountains and no one has to nag you to do it – you get up even on cold and rainy days and get out your wet gear so you can still do it – well, that’s for you but you could then organize some hikes and lead others in the joyful experience of the mountains you so love. That would be giving back what you’ve been given. Or you could become a watch-dog for the forests and mountains by joining groups that protect these. Or you could get involved in all kinds of other environmental causes and let your love of the natural world become your calling to keep it natural.
So when you begin the search for your calling look for your gifts, the things you are naturally good at, that is your strengths, then look for the connections between the connections and finally think about giving back what you’ve been given. Then one day you will wake up and find you are living your calling.
If you are still unsure, then maybe you would like to take my class – Awakening to Your Soul’s Call – A 12 week class. I am having a free preview night on Sept. 3rd at 6:30 PM – call me at 720-350- 4092 to reserve your spot. Class begins Sept. 10th - Southeast Denver.
Blessings, Lorraine
Another thing I want to make clear here is that I believe a soul’s call has an element of giving back to it. It is not simply for our own entertainment or fun. That to me is not a soul’s call, that’s just self-indulgent hedonism and we all deserve a bit of that but it is not a calling. What I’m talking about here is what James Hillman calls “giving back what you’ve been given”.
If you’ve been given the gift of physical strength and endurance and you use this to hike the Colorado mountains and no one has to nag you to do it – you get up even on cold and rainy days and get out your wet gear so you can still do it – well, that’s for you but you could then organize some hikes and lead others in the joyful experience of the mountains you so love. That would be giving back what you’ve been given. Or you could become a watch-dog for the forests and mountains by joining groups that protect these. Or you could get involved in all kinds of other environmental causes and let your love of the natural world become your calling to keep it natural.
So when you begin the search for your calling look for your gifts, the things you are naturally good at, that is your strengths, then look for the connections between the connections and finally think about giving back what you’ve been given. Then one day you will wake up and find you are living your calling.
If you are still unsure, then maybe you would like to take my class – Awakening to Your Soul’s Call – A 12 week class. I am having a free preview night on Sept. 3rd at 6:30 PM – call me at 720-350- 4092 to reserve your spot. Class begins Sept. 10th - Southeast Denver.
Blessings, Lorraine
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