Is Your Soul Calling You?

by Lorraine Banfield, MA

Many people think of calling as either a religious one, for example in the Catholic church to be called means to give your life to God and become a priest or a nun or they believe it is a vocational one like being called to be a teacher or doctor. Both of these can be soul calls but there are other kinds of calls as well.

I believe all of us are called in one way or another to do something meaningful and purposeful with our lives. This does not necessarily mean something big in the sense of becoming famous or doing something others would call extraordinary. It could mean this, but it could mean something simple and yet very meaningful to you.

I believe as James Hillman says in his book, The Soul’s Code, that each of us has a kind of code imbedded within the deepest part of us, that is the seed of who we are to become and what we are to make of ourselves in this life.

So how do you know if your soul is calling you? Let’s say that you have your career all set up – it’s going fine. You have a life partner and a family- that too is going fine too but, and here is where the soul call comes in – you still feel that something is missing. There is an ache, an itch that you can’t quite get satisfied.

Or maybe something has happened, you’ve gotten divorced, been laid off from your job or the job is fine but you’re bored with it. Or maybe a physical illness has hit you or a financial set back. All was well there for a while but now your life seems to be out of focus and not quite right. I call these calls to the quest, the quest to find that thing that your soul wants you to do.

Although many of the big calls are either spiritual or vocational there are many other kinds of calls. Maybe you are being called to be more creative, more loving, or to give your gift to the world in a more meaningful way. Maybe you hear a call for adventure as in the movie The Bucket List, or it could be a call to be more authentic. Maybe you are called by a cause that burns in your soul like a pilot light and simply will not go out, no matter what. Maybe you are called to be more open with your feelings, more intimate with your partner, more aware of others and their feelings. Maybe your call is to become more authentically who you really are at the core and to do this exactly where you are right now.

Is Your Soul’s Call Getting a Busy Signal?

In the old days before call waiting and voice mail if you were talking on your phone and someone called you, they would get a busy signal. This can happen in a metaphorical way with a soul call – the call comes but you are too busy doing something else to answer it. I call these detours and shadow temptations. The reason we are tempted to not answer the call is a soul call has the potential to upset the apple cart of our lives. Not everyone wants that, at least on a conscious level. A lot of us like things the way they are or we think we do.

There is usually some kind of risk involved in a soul call. Some kind of stepping out there and doing something you’ve not done before. It can be scary. It can be fear inducing. Let’s say you have a soul call to be creative. Being creative implies creating something that others will look at or read and either admire or distain – well, admire is great, but what if people hate your creations – what if you do? Then what?

Or maybe your call is develop a closer set of friends – your call is for community. Uh oh, now you have to put yourself out there, you have to be vulnerable. What if no one wants to be your friend or you don’t know anyone who you even desire to develop a friendship with – so you get busy and don’t answer the call.

Maybe your call is to be more adventurous – but you are 40 pounds overweight and past your 50th birthday – do you have the stamina to be adventurous? You look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself it’s too late – you’re too fat and too old, just go have a beer and watch an adventure movie – that’ll do the trick. But of course it only takes us on a little detour.

Detours and Shadow Temptations

When people are refusing the call they will often go on a detour or be tempted to do something that in the moment drowns out the ringing of that call. A detour is usually less detrimental to you than a shadow temptation. Here’s why – a detour is going off on a tangent that takes your mind to another place such as that adventure movie or moving to a new house or taking a new job or a new lover – these things don’t really hurt you but they don’t answer the call either. A shadow temptation is more serious, it usually involves something more insidiously damaging to you and your soul. Numbing the call with alcohol, drugs, pornography or food is a shadow temptation. Even workaholism is a shadow temptation as it is stress inducing and therefore damaging to your health. Anything that can numb you out so you are unable to think or hear the call of your soul is a shadow temptation.

Answering the Call

So how does one answer the call – how do you even know what a call is or what message it is trying to leave you. I recommend that you develop a daily practice of self-reflection. As Socrates once said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” So begin today to examine your life. Journal writing is a wonderful way to get in touch with your soul. In the Artist Way by Julia Cameron she suggests you do what she calls Morning Pages – three hand written pages done in the early morning before your day gets going on all it’s tasks and obligations. Another is to pay attention to your dreams – to record them and then analyze them for clues to your soul’s call. Another way is to look at your little obsessions – things that you are and always have been drawn to. Pay attention to what movies, books, TV shows you always watch. Ask yourself what excites you. Go on a treasure hunt of your psyche and see what comes up for you.

In the Meantime

Relax! Just because you took the call does not meant that at soon as you discover what the call is about you have to that second go out and make it happen. I believe the soul will have its day or it will make you sick trying but I don’t believe it has to be today. You have some time here, so in the meantime, don’t worry about it – don’t fret – just listen and pay attention and when you are ready and have done the work of finding out what your soul is trying to tell you, go at it slowly and with reverence. The ego is always in a hurry but the soul can take its time. So don’t let the ego take over – allow your soul call some time to sink in and then begin a slow process of setting things in motion.

Blessings, Lorraine